DaddyBats Counseling Service
by ProtectorKorii
Summary: Batman wasn't quite sure why, but somehow he had become the League's Counselor. Whenever one of them had a problem with their charge it was he they came to for advice. Luckily, Batman happens to give good advice.  For the YJ Anon Meme


**This was done for a prompt on the YJ Annon Meme that asked for Batman giving advice to all the other mentors and adding in flashbacks when possible! The prompt itself is in Part 8 page 23.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

><p>1: Green Arrow<p>

Bruce wasn't quite sure why Oliver Queen was standing outside his door _crying. _But he was. Bruce just stared. Alfred had answered the door then promptly got him and left. As if Bruce knew what to do in this situation.

"-something I did?" Queen was sobbing, "I didn't _mean_ to do anything. Was it the hat? I always liked the hat. Did Roy leave because of the hat?"

"Queen, are you drunk?" Bruce asked, frowning a bit. That was the only reason he could think of for the man's behavior.

"No. Kind of. Maybe a bit." Oliver mumbled.

Since the blonde archer didn't seem inclined to leave anytime soon Bruce sighed. "Come on in." He said finally. The man immediately slumped forward. Bruce lunged forward to catch him then quickly helped him stumble into the nearest living room. He deposited Ollie into a chair and called for Alfred.

"What's going on?" Bruce asked finally even though he was pretty sure he already knew.

"He _left_." The other man cried. "I thought he just quit being my side kick, but he quit being my son too! He's gone. _Gone_."

"Hmm…"

Alfred entered the room with a tray of hot tea and a box of Kleenex. Bruce sent him a hopeful look, which the butler ignored. It seemed he was on his own for this one.

"And I don't even know _why_ he left!" Ollie cried.

Bruce frowned. The man's words were slurring together dangerously. Just how much had the man drunk? "I think Roy made it fairly clear why he left."

"What?" Ollie blinked at him in confusion. "He did?"

"Roy didn't feel like you respected him. He felt like you were making him a second class hero- babying him. That's why he left."

"But- but _your _sidekick didn't leave!"

"Partner." Bruce corrected automatically.

"What do I do?"

Bruce sighed. How was he supposed to explain this? How should he know what to say? After all, Robin hadn't quit…. At least, not this time he hadn't.

_"You never tell me anything!" a ten year old Dick Grayson had yelled as Batman finished putting on his costume "You said I was your partner. Why can't I go with you?"_

_"I already told you: you aren't allowed." Batman had growled at his partner. "You should leave it at that."_

_"Why? Why do I have to do everything you say? You're my mentor, not my owner. I don't have to listen to you!"_

_Batman's glare fell on the tiny boy. "You will stay here." Batman ordered._

_"But _why?_ At least tell me why you won't let me go!"_

_"You don't need to know." Batman was tired of this. Ever since he told Robin he wasn't allowed on this mission the boy had been complaining nonstop. He should listen to what his mentor had to say and leave it at that. The child didn't need to know everything._

_"I do need to know." The boy spat. "You don't tell me anything."_

_"It's one time-"_

_"No it isn't! You wouldn't let me go on the last two missions either. You won't tell me why I'm not allowed to see the Justice League. You won't tell me why I can't do any of the training you do. You won't tell me about the files that are triple encoded on your computer or why-"_

_"Robin!" Batman roared. "That is enough! If you don't be quiet and leave this be I'm going to put you off duty indefinitely!" _

_That shut the boy up. The ten year old stared at him in disbelief. Then, anger flowing over his features, he spun around. "Fine. You don't need me anyway! I'll leave and be someone else's partner! I'll go join Joker! See how you'd like that!" The child ran up the stairs back to Wayne Manor._

_Batman just sighed. Sometimes he didn't get what to do with that child…. _

_He went on patrol without Robin. The mission had been much too dangerous for Robin to go on. Not only that but it had involved young children, something he didn't want Dick being involved in. It would hurt Dick mentally to see what had happened. The gang would have hurt him. It was much too dangerous for Dick. He would have been hurt, which was something that Batman wouldn't allow to happen._

_When he got back home he was tired, ready to fall asleep. What he didn't expect was Alfred to be waiting for him, a piece of paper clutched tightly in his hand._

_"What is it?" Batman growled as he got out of the car. _

_"Master Richard has run away." Alfred said tensely. He handed over the paper._

Dear Bruce, _it read_, obviously you don't want a partner anymore. And if you don't need me as a partner, then you don't need me as a son.

_"He's gone?" Bruce replied breathlessly._

_"He left. I found this in his room when he didn't come down for dinner."_

_There was a long pause. "Don't you have anything to say, Master Bruce?" _

"Bruce?" Oliver's whine cut into his thoughts. "Bruce? What am I supposed to do? Roy _left."_

"There isn't much you can do." Bruce replied honestly. "You've gotten rid of his trust. You'll have to work to regain it."

Roy was much older than Dick had been when he'd run away. Something as simple as apologizing wouldn't make him come back as it had with Dick. But it would be a good start.

"Apologize." Bruce said. "Try to explain your reasoning- and don't lie. Tell the truth."

"Do you think he'll come back then?" Ollie asked hopefully.

Bruce shook his head though. "Roy has outgrown your shadow, Queen. But you could try to make amends at least."

* * *

><p>2) Flash<p>

"Batman? Batman, I need to ask you a question." Batman growled as Flash tapped his shoulder impatiently. "Bats, I have a question. Bat-"

"I heard you the first time, Flash." Batman snapped.

Flash quickly removed his hand. "Oh, ok. It's about Kid Flash."

Batman frowned. "What about him?"

"Yesterday he ran off to India without telling me because he said he was hungry for Indian food and he said it would be faster to just run to India and get it than to wait at the place down the street with the long line."

Batman waited for more. "That wasn't a question."

"I mean, don't you know what that's like? What do I do?"

"I don't have a speedster for a charge. How should I know?"

Except that Batman completely understood where Flash was coming from. He would never forget the time that Robin had decided to take the Bat plane and go to China because he had to write a report on the Great Wall of China. Bruce had had a heart attack when he'd found out what had happened.

Robin's "I wanted to see it in person." Excuse didn't help him at all. Neither did the fact that he got a bonus on his paper. Bruce had been terrified when he'd seen that Robin had gone missing without telling him or Alfred where he was. He'd spent three agonizing hours without knowing where Robin had flown off to.

"Bats, you have to know!" Flash cried.

"Why would I know?"

"Well, I mean, you were the first one with a side kick. You should know how to deal with this stuff!"

"I don't have a speedster who runs off to India." Batman deadpanned. Flash just kept looking at him so he sighed. "Talk to him. Explain how it makes you feel and why you don't like him running off like that. Maybe set a time limit for him to be back by. He'll listen."

Flash grinned. "Thanks Bats! I knew you'd know!"

* * *

><p>3) Martian Manhunter<p>

"Batman, I seem to have a problem." Martian Manhunter's usually monotone voice was hesitant as he approached Batman on Monitor Duty.

"What is it?" Batman asked. The Martian seemed worried.

"It is about my niece."

Batman's mouth twitched downwards. Since when had he become everyone's counselor? Was he really the only one out there who had bothered with the parenting books?

"She… she seems to have no concept of danger." J'onn said slowly. "Every time we go out on a mission together, or even for training, she takes unnecessary risks. On the teams missions she seems to have been much more daring as well. I am sure you have noticed this."

Batman had noticed. "And?"

"And I wish to know what to do about it." The green man said as if this were obvious. "Red Tornado referred me to you." When Batman didn't immediately respond the man prompted, "Has Robin ever acted this way?"

"No."

He had of course though. He did it all the time

_"Shoot! I'm not going to have time!" Robin exclaimed. _

_The bomb was going to go off in five seconds. There wasn't going to be enough time to evacuate the building. All one hundred and thirty eight people would be blown to pieces, including Batman and Robin. There wasn't enough time to get rid of the complex wiring of the bomb either._

_Robin glanced at the bomb, then at the people. Then, picking it up in his arms, he jumped out the window._

_"Robin!" Batman shouted frantically. He rushed after his partner, only to see him floating through the air. _

_A loud explosion sounded._

_And… and confetti filled the air. _

_Batman watched in relief as Robin landed safely on the next rooftop. Strips of colorful paper and streamers floated to the ground. The bomb hadn't been real. Joker had set it up as a fake- a joke. Robin was fine. _

_Even so, Batman's heart was pounding in his chest. He grappled over to Robin. _

_"Well, that was lucky." Robin had laughed._

_Batman just crushed him to his chest. "Don't ever do that again."_

_Robin had leaned into his touch with a sigh. "I'm fine. Geeze."_

_"What is with you lately?" Batman demanded. He pulled back. He wasn't sure if he wanted to slap some sense into the boy or hug him again. "You've been taking risks like this all the time!"_

_"It's nothing." Robin got defensive immediately. _

_"Nothing? There you would have been killed. Last night you leapt into the gunfire. Before that you were almost crushed by a train! What were you thinking?"_

_His eyes fell to the ground. "I was just trying to be like you."_

_"What?" Bruce was confused._

_"I'm not as good as you. I wanted to be better… like you."_

_This time Bruce grabbed him into another hug. "You don't have anything to prove, Dickey." He whispered. "You are fine just the way you are. Stop giving me heart attacks."_

"I see." J'onn voice broke him from the memory. The martin gave a worried smile. "I am sorry Batman, but you were… thinking so loud. I'm afraid I glimpsed the memory."

"Then you know what to do?"

J'onn nodded. "Yes. M'gann has been taking more risks to try and prove herself, just as Robin had. I must speak with her about this. If I let her know what she means to me and why she should not purposefully put herself in harms' way, I'm sure she will understand."

The martin smiled and placed his hand on Batman's shoulder. "Thank you my friend."

* * *

><p>4) Aquaman<p>

Batman sighed deeply, hoping this was almost over. The meeting had been dragging on for hours. Everyone kept bringing up a new problem. Hopefully this was the last thing anyone had to say.

"Is there any more business?" Superman asked, hoping like everyone else the answer was no.

Instead, Aquaman raised his hand. "I have a problem." He said. "It is about Kaldur'Ahm."

"What about him?" Black Canary asked, frowning.

Aquaman's eyes fell on Batman though. "I… need advice."

"And you are asking _me?"_ Batman grumbled. When had he become the counselor?

Aquaman nodded though, which made Green Lantern snort. "Batman?" he questioned. "What does he know about kids?"

"He has Robin, you know." Flash said. "Besides, he gives great advice! Kid Flash totally tells me when he runs off now. We get takeout all the time!" He beamed.

There was some disbelief from the other leaguers. Black Canary even seemed rather upset that it wasn't she who they were asking advice from. After all, she was their den mother.

Aquaman didn't notice the others and just started talking. "Kaldur'Ahm and I… we just don't connect. I mean, we can train and work together and all that… but if we aren't training I don't know what to do!"

"Don't you talk about his interests?" Black Canary asked.

"Sure, we talk about fighting-"

"His _other_ interests." Batman cut in.

Aquaman just blinked. "We just don't seem to have anything in common."

Everyone fell silent, staring at Batman as they waited for the response.

Batman looked at the clock and sighed.

He remembered a time when he and Robin hadn't gotten along. He'd had absolutely nothing in common with the child. Nothing except fighting crime and horrible pasts. He also admitted that he hadn't really tried. One night the awkward silence in the bat mobile had grown so tense that it was actually painful.

Robin, being the chatty one, had suddenly decided that the best way to get to know each other was to talk. And talk nonstop. He started talking to Batman about the circus and about his parents and about how much he enjoyed going to the parks and playing with the different animals and seeing movies. The more he talked the more the awkwardness between them had fled.

Eventually the stoic Batman had been forced to talk back. And… he'd enjoyed it. They began to hang out together as he agreed to take the child to the park or play a game with him. Now there were no awkward silences between them. Now they understood each other perfectly.

Batman realized that everyone was practically holding their breaths with anticipation of his answer. He raised an eyebrow. "Have you tried talking with him?"

"I've asked him what's wrong."

"Nothing is wrong." Batman corrected quickly. "All you need to do is get to know him better. You need to know him as Kaldur'Ahm, not just as Aqualad. Just talk with him. Eventually you'll find something in common."

Aquaman's face furrowed as he thought. Batman sighed. "And try to think of subjects that don't involve fighting or swimming."

With that Batman decided the conversation was over. He wanted to get back home. He had promised Robin he'd work with him on the new fighting methods. Anything would be better than this meeting.

As he left he heard the other heroes talking. "That was actually good advice." Black Canary said, sounding surprised.

"Who knew Batman was such a daddy?" Superman added with a chuckle.

* * *

><p>5) Green Arrow<p>

"Let me guess, you want advice." Batman deadpanned as Green Arrow stepped into the Batcave. He wasn't sure how, but somehow everyone now seemed to think that he was the perfect person to go for advice on raising a child. He had no idea _why_ they seemed to think he knew everything, but they did.

He'd dealt with Aquaman complaining that he still wasn't relating to his charge, though that had changed after he forced them to go to play a game instead of training together. He'd had to explain to Flash that kids, and especially speedsters, would outgrow their clothing quickly when they had their growth spurt. Green Arrow had asked him numerous times about Roy. Black Canary even had tried to get his help with Superboy.

"How did you know?" Green Arrow asked sheepishly. Batman just narrowed his eyes. "Well… you see… Artemis is… well, she's having _her time of the month_."

Batman's eyes widened. "How am I supposed to know about this?" He demanded.

"Well, I mean, Robin-"

"Queen, you realize Robin isn't a girl, right?" Batman said slowly.

"I know that!" The archer protested quickly. "I just meant… well; didn't your parenting books cover that?"

Batman just groaned. "Didn't you think to ask your girlfriend about this?"

Green Arrow chuckled nervously. "You see, that's the thing. It's kind of Black Canary's time too."

Batman sighed and rubbed his forehead. Why him? This wasn't even something he knew how to deal with! Anyone would be better at this than he was. Heck, even Robin would know what to do.

He paused. Robin had known what to do.

_Bruce Wayne had stared, almost in horror, as his date broke down in tears. They'd only been sitting there in the Manor, talking and flirting like most of his dates, when the lady had suddenly burst into tears. Bruce had asked what was wrong and, in a fit of tears, she'd tried to laugh it off. "It-it's nothing. I just- oh gosh this is embarrassing. It-it's my time and sometimes- sometimes I just really need to cry."_

_"Oh." Bruce felt panic rising in his chest._

_The woman had almost glared at him at this point. "You wouldn't understand. You're a male. Guys don't have to deal with this. You've never had cramps before, have you?"_

_"I – well, no."_

_Before the lady could say anything else eight year old Dick Grayson had walked into the room carrying a bowl of chocolate ice cream heaped with chocolate syrup and m&ms. The lady blinked at him as he handed the bowl to her with a blinding smile._

_"Here you go." Dick said cheerfully._

_"What- what's this?"_

_"Ice cream. When my mommy had her "girl time" daddy always said to be real nice to her. She liked ice cream. She said it helped." Dick frowned at her. "Doesn't chocolate help?"_

_The lady had beamed back at him. "It does. Aren't you just a darling boy?"_

_Dick giggled. "Bruce, can you get Motrin? Mommy said that always helped her cramps." _

_"Uh…sure…" Bruce quickly left the room. When he came back with the medicine Dick was telling a funny story to his date, which made her laugh. He'd been informed, by an eight year old no less, the rest of the evening what ladies liked when they were upset. _

"Ice cream." Batman suddenly blurted out. Green Arrow blinked at him. "Ice cream, movies, Motrin, and chocolate. Get them that."

* * *

><p>6) Superman<p>

He had been trying for months to get Clark to talk about Connor. The Man of Steel wouldn't listen though. He kept finding other excuses, or in some cases he'd flat out refuse it. Nothing Batman could say seemed to make Superman actually think about his clone, who in all rights should have been his son.

Now though… now Clark Kent had appeared at Wayne Enterprises in the middle of the day, asking for his advice.

"What is it?" Bruce asked as he let Clark into his office. The other man looked sheepish. "I… I need advice about Super-… Connor." He said the name hesitantly.

Bruce's eyebrows rose in shock. "Really?"

Clark nodded. "I…I should try… talking with him." This seemed hard for the man. "I don't know anything about him and I should try… right?"

"Definitely." Bruce encouraged. "What brought about this change?"

The reporter rubbed his neck with a nervous chuckle. "Actually… Dick did. He threatened to stop talking to me if I didn't try. And he said he would tell Lois."

Bruce felt himself smiling. Good for Dick. "What do you want to know?"

"How do I approach him? He won't even look at me, he's so angry!"

"That is your fault." Bruce said. He looked away for a minute, trying to remember what he did when Robin was angry with him.

Oh. Of course.

"Basketball."

"What?"

Bruce smiled. "Tonight, the cave. Two on Two."

* * *

><p>6.5) Superman Two<p>

The next day Clark burst into his office again, completely ignoring the fact that Bruce was supposed to be working. This time Clark didn't seem nervous. He seemed excited.

"I need more advice." Clark said quickly. He sat down in the chair opposite Bruce's desk, leaning forward eagerly.

Last night had been their basketball game- Bruce and Dick against Clark and Connor. It had started off to a rocky start. Neither of the Supers wanted to talk. But slowly, as they got their butts kicked by the two humans, they'd begun to work together. And from there it had moved on to talking together, which had soon moved to them completely forgetting about the game as Clark had explained to Connor everything he knew about Kryptonian culture, pie, and farms. Connor had gobbled up every word. By the end of the night both sets had been pleased by the results.

"What advice do you need?" Bruce questioned.

"About kids." Clark said eagerly. "I want- want to be there for Connor." His voice trailed off. "I want to know what to do."

"What do you want to know?"

"Tell me everything."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I hope you enjoyed! Thank you very much to ARL15 for looking over the story for me!**

**There may be a second part to this coming soon.**


End file.
